» Reviews: Freelancers

Nathan Schwartz

|    Tuesday, August 28, 2012

  • Director: Jessy Terrero
  • Producer: Mark Canton, 50 Cent, Randall Emmett, George Furla
  • Writer: L. Philippe Casseus
  • Starring: Robert De Niro, Forest Whitaker, 50 Cent, Dana Delany
  • Distributor: Lionsgate
  • Running Time: 96 min
  • Rating: R
  • Genre: Action, Crime, Thriller

If an elephant came to my door and said, “Hey, I’m sorry to bother you, but I really need to take a dump, do you mind if I use your washroom?” and then completely destroyed my toilet, leaving nothing but massive poo stains and a stench that would cause skunks to faint, it would still be preferable to Freelancers. The movie was so wrong on so many levels. 50 Cent should not be allowed to act, the progression of the characters made no sense, and the story was annoyingly absurd. Also… wait, someone’s knocking at my door. Whoever could it be?

Verdict: Forget It

 

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