» Reviews: John Carter

Nathan Schwartz

|    Friday, April 27, 2012

  • Director: Andrew Stanton
  • Producer: Jim Morris, Colin Wilson, Lindsey Collins
  • Writer: Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon
  • Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Mark Strong, Ciarán Hinds, Dominic West
  • Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
  • Running Time: 132 min
  • Rating: PG-13
  • Genre: Fantasy, Adventure

After a long day at work, sometimes we need to wind down by watching something mindless. A movie jam packed with special effects and nonstop action. A movie whose story and characters are so shallow that you find yourself laughing hysterically at its sheer stupidity. Well, that’s what I was hoping John Carter would be, but it wasn’t. I tried as hard as I could to laugh at it, but with its craptastic everything it was extremely difficult to force a half sincere giggle. And forking over the dough to see it in 3D definitely didn’t help the cause either.

Verdict: Forget It


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